Had Sakae Sushi Buffet with bf this afternoon because he wanted to spend more time with me before he goes back to army to serve his 5th year reservist. The past 2 weeks has been really hectic, going to the library every single day to study with the aim to do well. This overwhelming pressure is making me really bad tempered and we've been getting into heated arguments lately.


Even during the 4 hour meet up, we got into several arguments and it was just so tough. I was already stressed up over exams and couldnt really let go to enjoy his companionship. But if I dont spend the day with bf today, I might not be able to spend time with him for the next 3 weeks. He will be in camp when I finish my exams and I cant spend any time with him on his first book out which clashes with my last paper the very next day; one of the toughest as well.


It's funny how we used to meet every single day and the frequency just got lesser and lesser. I get so busy with work that I dont realised it's been __ days that we last met. He just wanted to spend a little more time with me but I just dont have the time. Hopefully I'll spend more time accompanying him after my papers..


Today, we were talking about how busy we get and how my expectations towards my work has gone up so much. I'm focusing a lot on my studies, which I have never done that before. He asked me a question, which I replied him really frankly and he was saddened by my ans I guess. He held on to my hands and said, "I just want a simple, normal girl to live my life with."

Feeling down. Very down.


It's 3.30am and I'm not sleeping yet. I'm tired and badly want to hit the sack but my mind is full of thoughts that are playing around with my emotions..


Rmb a recent entry saying that I had problems with my group mates and there were 2 group issues unsolved. Well, I guess it's solved now, but I dont like any of the outcomes..


I never like conflicts and even though I give in a lot to reduce it, sometimes, it's just difficult to choose between friendship and performance. I know I've tried.


Sometimes ppl think I'm crazy, cracking my brains to think of the most politically correct words that will not hurt people's feelings. I used to be someone who shoot her mouth off without using her brains, I think the thinking process has been strengthened since the numerous incidents in HK.


I've to say that I am not someone with a very high EQ, because I never know what are the right words to say so that the others will not be offended or misinterpret my meaning, which is really often.


Emotional Intelligence; ability to perceive and express emotions, regulate emotions, understand and reason with emotions and assimilate emotions into thoughts. (Memorised this for OB and it didnt came out!)


I never like losing friendships. and I'll do whatever I can to keep them. After Secondary and Poly days, I really want to keep the few friendships that I have.


Had a good 1 hour talk with Cynthia after studying session today. And her bf was telling her that she could be in the same group as me next semester. Her first reaction was, our working styles are different and we cannot work together.


I agree with what she said, and this triggered the thought that some ppl, can be good friends but cannot work together. Just like best friends might not be able to live under the same roof.. It all depends on how accomodating the other person is..


I used to have a good friend which I got to know through SIM. But because of different expectations and working styles. I lost a good friend, the second friend I've made in SIM. and just now, when I was trying to find out how he is doing, I realised I'm no longer on his friend list. I think I was blocked as well..


I was hurt when I realised that, and it was not the first time he did that. I shall not talk about the first experience I had.


I dont like that kind of feeling. It sucks.



`Faith

Feeling really unhappy now after hearing what the dentist told me about my teeth. People following me on Twitter would know that I've been complaining about my teeth for the entire day. It's really a BAD timing because exams is 2 days away and I'm busy studying for my exams. Having a toothache is definitely NOT going to aid in my exams revisions in any way.

Without further ado, I ended the study session at 6 pm and went to find bf. At that point in time, I was alr feeling moody and jumpy because of the pain caused by that tooth. The dental clinic I wanted to go initially was closed and we went to Q&M Clinic eventually. It was a horrible wait and I quickly grabbed some noodles to eat in the waiting process. It was torture. I lost all my appetite and the noodles tasted bland (or probably it was bland in the first place).

The dentist told me that the tooth that was causing problems... doesnt have a hole and was already filled. I was surprised because I dont rmb going to the dentist to fill it up. He took an Xray and the conclusion derived was that the filling was too deep and it is affecting the nerve, thus causing this pain. In order to put it right, I need to do Root Canal.


"Root canal is also a colloquial term for a dental operation, endodontic therapy, wherein the pulp is cleaned out, the space disinfected and then filled. "
Credits: Wikipedia.


Root canal procedure: unhealthy or injured tooth, drilling and cleaning, filing with endofile, rubber filling and crown - Wikipedia




And guess what's the best thing, the cost of this operation will cost 1.3k or more.

Other alternatives? I can extract the tooth that is causing problems. When I told the dentist that I've alr extracted an adult tooth in Sec 3, he had a second look at my teeth and told me that the tooth that is causing problem has shifted to the exact position to where the former tooth used to be. And shld I remove this again, the possibility of it shifting will be very very low and the probability of the teeth and roots tilting will be much higher. The risks will be higher and I cannot imagine the consequences.


Sigh, I am really confused now.


And it cost 58 dollars just for consultation, Xray and some painkillers. :(((((((


`Faith

Just like any other day, it was yet another day at the library. Buyer Behavior revision wasnt really effective... and I dont know how to counter this increasing boredom of facing books. Apparently, my mind was totally blocked after 3 chapts. It just stopped taking in info. -.-

Something different was receiving a msg from Celest and we met up for an hour from 8 - 9. She was unhappy and I lent her my listening ear. I was glad to see her but I felt sad when I see that she was really unhappy and I dont know how to make things right.. Nevertheless, I am still glad to see her and hopefully the advices I gave her work..

Then, it was bf popping out of nowhere to surprise me. He kept calling me just now and I was a tad frustrated because Celest does not have much time and I wanted to spend as much time with her so I kept the convo really brief. Then suddenly after I came out from the toilet, he popped from my back and gave me a surprise. It was really sweet of him.. :)

Taken 2 weeks ago. Hahhaa. He's always trying to be funny. BLEH. :P

Suddenly the urge to blog is not as strong again. I wish I can keep up with blogging as often as Vivian. Hahaha. Reading her blog is a everyday thing! :)

For the past 3 days, it has been studying and studying non stop. It's CRAZY because I go to the library at 10am and study till 6pm on Mon, 7pm on Tues and 8.30pm today. It's the same routine tomorrow. I'm especially slow when I've only completed 2 modules with the least chapters to study lor! I've already finished 1 notebook full of notes and starting on the second.... I really hope I can do well man...

I'm suffering from a lil sore throat and have been drinking litres of water everyday so as to keep it under control. Apparently it's not that effective when my throat is still hurting and I'm really worried that it might develop into full blown sore throat or fever... Then I really can die alr.
It's time for me to go to sleep... I need to rest. and I need a break.


I love this effect which I've no idea how to do it. My camera is so chui that sometimes it give me different effects.
Ting Ting <3 I'll sing you lullaby! :P

I can conquer BUYER BEHAVIOR and MARKETING RESEARCH man!!! Hahahha. I forgot who commented on this photo, said I looked like the female version of Wolverine.

`Faith

Guess where were I this morning? Clue: Picture below....

I'm not queuing for Hello Kitty or any sales. I was outside the library just before it opened! and trust me, I did not take this shot right at the front. There were a whole lot of ppl in front of me as well! And ppl started running as soon as the shutters opened. Hahaha. Kinda reminded me of Secondary school days.



Straight after studying with study buddy Ben, I took the cake down to meet my dearest peeps. And It was my first time at the studio.. The "clubhouse" has became so pathetic and sharing it with many other totally unrelated CCAs... Made me miss the clubhouse at Block 73. It's all fenced up now.. Guess the building will be flattened soon...

Patrick with the cake! See Jt's face! hahaha. She wanted to say "拍什么拍!" Hahaha. :)

Group photos! I was a tad disappointed when the juniors left STRAIGHT after the practice. Just a handful stayed for the cake and gone shortly after. -.- There wasnt alot of juniors as u can see from the picture... and not very spontaneous either.



Then while the big ppl started having group meetings and all... Me and ting ting started playing around. Hahaha. <3 She can jump damn high lor! Hahaha. We even competed on standing broad jump.. hahaha. she can jump at least 1.5 (my feet size) more than me lor!

It's Sunday! But I stayed home the entire day. I guess I packed myself with too many activities for the past few days and had too little sleep. I fell asleep immediately after sending bestie her birthday msg and only woke up at 1.30pm today. Super tired. Slept through ALL my alarms. lol.



Was really happy to meet up with HuiJun and got my new supplies of crystals from Arab street! Due to financial difficulties, I only got 6 packets of crystals and it cost freaking $26!! SUPER SIAN! I'll only be getting my salary on the 23rd so I'm struggling with less than 30 dollars in my bank. Hahaha. Ok, I know. I need to learn to save up. haha.



Then, it was meeting up with dearest SAG peeps at the Loft! Sometimes bf will ask why is it that I still spend so much time with them despite graduation. I tell him that they're the best ppl I've met, ppl whom I enjoy their companionship. I love them lots!



Anyway, the loft was really good! It's really cosy and much better than a chalet lor!! :P





Actually I want my future home to be something like this. Simple and nice. Absolutely amazing! :)





Like HDB right. :P





Me at the LOFT! :)





Our door lock. See so high tech hor! :P





Living room~~





Kitchen





Toilet!



<3>

As I always said on Twitter, I'm beginning to lose interest in blogging with all the heavy workload and the creation of micro-blogging; twitter.

It's my 1000th post for this entry and looking back, I've actually been blogging for 5years, since Secondary 2. Even though I took a long hiatus in between, I managed to stick with this one and only blog. :)

-
Have been thinking of how to express this entry since this morning and this entry is about the thoughts that I've been thinking the entire day..


Today is exactly 1 week after my great grandfather passed away, the funeral ended today and we sent him off to Mandai Crematorium. It was a grand sight, when the entire ceremony started. There were close to 80 people, and all his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren.. came to send him off the last time.



Now that he was gone, it made me look back to all the times that we spent at his place, and how important it is to cherish the loved ones. I supposed what made me cry so hard was when I started thinking about the future, when my loved ones leave me. Being someone who cannot control her tear glands and emotions very well, I think I will break down completely....


Shld I leave one day, I dont want the normal traditional funeral. I want a simple, quiet and peaceful one.. Like in the service hall where everybody comes together and share stories of me with them and remembering me in their hearts and minds. I want to cremated after a few days because like what bf say, the longer it is, the more upsetting people will get..


For the past few days, I've been sticking with my grandparents, esp my grandma to give her comfort. I hugged her from time to time and hold her hands, wanna tell her that I'll always be there for her.. I'll spend more time with her in the future.


This incident, not only makes me realised the importance to cherish my family members, it also show the dilemma that I'm facing between my family and my religion. My uncle is the only one who knows and when everyone in the family thought that I was late because of the camp and how disrespectful I am, he understands. He told me his opinions and I listened. I heeded his advice. I am sure that this road will not be easy, and I'll be facing alot of difficulties in the future, be it getting married or other stuffs.. I just pray hard that my faith will not waver.


I'm really thankful that in times like this, I have the support of close friends and really glad I've friends whom I enjoy their companionship, trust and love.


`Faith